The Toilet is Fixed, in Spite of my Russian Language Skills - by McP

Those of you who know Alison well can imagine the looks I get from her when I try to help us out here sometimes by speaking Russian - the dominant language here in Kazakhstan. I am much better prepared than I was six years ago, but even then after being here for four weeks in November-December, 2000, I found the ability to get around with the basics (food, drink, etc.).

This time I decided to be better prepared by listening to Russian language CD's for six months, anytime I was in the car for a long drive. This was good for getting the basic pronunciation rules, so even if I don't know what in the heck I am saying, I can say it well!

Since our last trip, the Kazakh language is making a comeback. When the country left the Soviet Union in 1991, Russians started leaving the country in droves. Now Kazakhs are in the majority again, and they have made Kazakh the official language - but everyone seems to understand Russian. Not necessarily MY Russian, however.

Today I stayed in with Cal while Alison, Liza, Alina and Mac took a long walk and went to lunch. Cal and I had a good time, waiting with me for the guy to come fix the toilet.

Finally, a knock at the door! There were two men, one with a receipt book. I started talking with them, explaining my limited Russian that I was glad to see them. They looked a bit puzzled, but one filled out a receipt and handed it to me for a signature. I kept inviting them inside, trying to get them into the bathroom to fix the toilet. They were resisting, but wanted me to sign the receipt. I was quite confused, and they were as well as I kept talking about the toilet.

Finally, I called Dilnoza from the agency office in Almaty. She is assigned to us and I had been pestering her about getting someone there to fix our problem. When I got her and handed the phone to the confused man with the receipt book, he laughed and handed the phone back to me. He was the electrical meter reader, checking our meter and was wondering why I wanted him to see my toilet so badly. I signed his receipt as instructed.

About two hours later, finally a knock at the door again! Cal and I hurried to find a woman there. This is a country where the judge and prosecutor we are dealing with in Cal's adoption are women, so why not a plumber? This time I wanted to make certain. I asked her if she was here about the toilet. "Da!" was her answer. Thank goodness!

Cal and I escorted her into the bathroom and I began to point out the failed system in the tank. She looked at me like I was crazy. Finally, she pointed to a panel on the wall and asked me to move some of our stuff that was blocking access to it. I moved it, certain that she wanted to cut off the water before she dove into the job. I even tried to help by directing her to a cut-off valve in the tank. "Nyet!" was her answer. I insisted. Why cut off the water for everything when I already had it off at the toilet?

Turns out she was just the lady who reads the water meter! She had the same look of confusion as the two men reading the electric meter before as I kept trying to get her to look at my toilet bowl tank! In my defense I had asked her if she was there about the toilet. How did I know the water meter for the apartment was in the bathroom? How did I know all utilities were read on the same day?

Finally, around 1:00 p.m., Dilnoza and the landlord and the plumber showed up! Dilnoza speaks excellent English so I did not get the opportunity to confuse things again. The plumber brought with him a brand new plastic contraption and replaced the entire mechanism of the toilet tank.

After all of the confusion, I thought I would practice my Russian with the one person in our household who would be the least judgemental - Cal! Click on the video above to see how that was received by the resident expert in the Russian language. As you can see, he doesn't know whether to laugh or hide his face in embarassment! I can't get any respect! - McP